Mothers Day. Every year before this one, this holiday has always been the one that made me feel the most empty. My mother passed away when I was nine years old, so really I have spend more of my life without her than I did with her. And honestly, I have gotten used to having that empty spot in my life, because it has been that way for so long. It is usually something I don’t notice because it’s normal for me. But mother’s day was the only day every year that the hole was huge and gaping. It’s hard to hide from the fact that you can’t celebrate mother’s day with your mom when everyone around you is celebrating and cards and gifts are everywhere you look.

But now I have this beautiful daughter named Libby. Now I am celebrated on this day. And I absolutely love being a mama. I love the cuddles, and the giggles, and calming her down when she’s upset. It is the most difficult and rewarding job I have ever had.  It makes me feel whole again to have a mother-daughter relationship, even if I am playing a different role than before.

Nic has been so perfect, knowing that today is really bittersweet for me, and planned a nice picnic for the three of us. We grabbed some Capriotti’s sandwiches and went to the park by our house to just relax and enjoy our Sunday together. It was short, because Libby was ready for a nap and that Vegas heat got to us real quick, but all in all it was the perfect way to spend mother’s day. I am so grateful for the little family I have been blessed with.

So here’s to my very first mother’s day as a mama. It may not ever be the happiest day for me, but now I can think of my mom on this day, remember how amazing of a mother she was, and celebrate motherhood with my Libby.

(Here’s some more pictures from our picnic. Thank you to my amazing husband Nic for working my new tripod and capturing the moment for us.)