I am sitting here with Libby napping thinking she is 6 weeks old today and I have failed to write down her birth story! This is something I wanted to get written right after she was born so I wouldn’t forget anything, but I got a little caught up 😉 So here is the story now before any more of the details begin getting fuzzy.
I definitely did not enjoy being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it is a beautiful thing to literally be growing another life and I am so grateful to have gotten that experience. I just did not love it. I hated being told to “slow down” or ” you’re pregnant, you can’t do that.” I am an independent do-it-yourself girl and having to slow down because I wasn’t physically capable of doing everything I did before really sucked. Luckily I had a really easy pregnancy and was able to still keep up with most of my normal everyday life. I had very little morning sickness, no complications, and besides swelling like a balloon towards the end, it was a breeze.
I started my maternity leave from work at 38 weeks so I could take some time to relax (hah!) before Libby made her arrival. I was hoping that she would be eager to come see the world and arrive early, but alas no such luck. Those two weeks passed by with very little sign that Libby wanted to join us. I had been having sporadic Braxton hicks contractions, but nothing that was an indication of labor. At our last OBGYN appointment, I was only 1 centimeter dilated. We had previously known our doctor would induce at 41 weeks, so we set our induction date for the following Monday evening and Nic and I left hoping Libby would decide to come within the week.
I tried everything to get her to budge. Long walks, squats, curb walking, spicy food, lovemaking, eggplant, greasy pizza, everything except castor oil (yuck!) The week passed us by with nothing and finally Monday was upon us. So Nic prepared to go to the gym before we left for the hospital (to destress a little beforehand) and I made my last dinner and made sure my hospital bag was packed and in the car. Just before we got ready to leave for the hospital, we got a call that the hospital had absolutely no beds available. They told us to sit tight and if anything opened up that evening they would call us, but more than likely they would be calling us to come in in the morning. We were disappointed, but one more night wasn’t going to make a difference. I slept knowing I would need my rest. Nic on the other hand was too stressed about getting a call in the middle of the night that he didn’t sleep at all.
They gave us a call at 6:00am and said they had a bed for us, so to eat some breakfast and head over to the hospital. We ate quickly so we could get on the road to beat traffic. We arrived at the hospital at 7:00am. We didn’t get into a room until 8:00am and after getting all set up my exam showed I was barely 1 centimeter dilated, Libby had not dropped down, and my cervix was soft. The doctor decided to start me on Cytotec. It is a pill that they place in the cervix that starts your contractions and softens your cervix. After insertion you are required to stay laying down for 2 hours. After 4 hours they give you another dose. They repeat the process up to 3 times. They placed the pill at about 10:00am. After maybe 20 minutes, I began feeling substantial contractions coming pretty close together. They gave me a bag of fluids to slow down the contractions a bit.
After the first 2 hours were up, I got up to pee and they came in to check my progress. After a little bit of stretching and prodding the nurse stretched my cervix to be dilated to 2 centimeters. I went another hour with contractions and then the nurses gave me some pain medication through my IV to help me be more comfortable (can’t remember what they gave me.)
At about 2:00pm they came and checked me and I was dilated to a 3. They decided I didn’t need any more doses of the Cytotec because my contractions were very consistent ( I think about 4 minutes apart). My water broke shortly after they checked me (woohoo!). So I was basically leaking continuously all over my bed for a while, which super sucked and was very uncomfortable. The nurses came to check and noticed that there was meconium in the water (boo!). This meant that Libby had taken her first poop in the womb and NICU would have to be present during delivery to make sure that Libby did not inhale any of it.
After another 2 hours or so, the pain medication they gave me had lost its effectiveness substantially and I asked for an epidural. I did not even look at the needle or feel it at all really. I was too focused on breathing through my contractions. The anesthesiologist was my favorite person for the next few hours, because I felt so much better! Score for modern medicine.
The nurses came to check me again at about 5:00pm and I was 5 centimeters! I was feeling pretty exhausted so I decided to try to get some sleep while I could. I am not sure how long I slept, but all of a sudden I was woken up by about 6 nurses rushing into the room. They crowded around me, put an oxygen mask on my face, and pushed Nic out of the way. I had no idea what was happening! They kept saying to “keep calm” and “everything is okay.” I started panicking, partly because I am pretty claustrophobic and the oxygen mask was making me freak out, but mostly because obviously something was wrong and I had no idea what was happening. Finally Nic yelled at a nurse to tell him what was happening. While the nurses explained what was happening to him, they attempted to calm my breathing (and crying) to tell me what they were doing. Libby’s heart rate was dropping pretty drastically, and they weren’t able to get a good read on her from the external monitor. So they placed an internal monitor on her scalp so they could get a proper read on her heart rate.
Now with an epidural, you have to stay laying down but the nurses will have you roll from one side to the other every half hour/hour so that the medicine doesn’t pool in one side.This also helps the baby move down. So that is what the nurses were having me do, they would come in and help me roll from one side to the other. Libby apparently had other plans. Every time they tried to roll me over to my right side, her heart rate would do and the nurses would have to rush back in to turn me back onto my left. They even tried putting me on my back, but her heart rate still wouldn’t stay up. The nurses began calling her a “diva” which did help lighten the mood a little bit.
Hours passed with me not dilating any more past 5 centimeters, and Nic and I not getting any rest because Libby’s heart rate wouldn’t stay constant. I cannot even describe the awful feeling I had in the pit of my stomach every time I watched the monitor showing Libby’s heart dip below the line it was suppose to stay at. I was terrified that they were going to have to do a C-section. A nurse came in and told us that I had stalled at 5 centimeters, but they couldn’t give me any pitocin until Libby’s heart rate stabilized for over an hour. So we waited.
I started getting terrible back labor and this terrible pinch in the right side of my uterus. I had to have the anesthesiologist come give me another dose of medicine in my epidural. Libby wasn’t cooperating and the nurse had mentioned if things didn’t start looking up, they may have to do a C-section. She went to call the doctor to see what he wanted to do. At this point I just wanted to have my little girl out and in my arms where she could be safe.
The doctor thought that Libby might be laying on her cord when I was in certain positions, which would explain her uneven heart rate. He decided that they were going to fill my cervix back up with fluids, which would basically create another water for Libby to move around in and hopefully get off her cord. So they started me on even more fluids (my third bag of fluids, oh the bloating) and we crossed our fingers and prayed for a miracle.
Our prayers were answered and Libby’s heart rate stabalized finally! It was about 2:00am at this point. They were finally able to start me on pitocin so they could hopefully get me fully dilated and get Libby to drop down.
At about 5:30am when the nurse checked me, I was at a 10 and Libby had finally dropped down and had moved herself into the correct position (they had mentioned earlier that she was turned the wrong way which is why my back was hurting so much.) We were finally there! I could feel all the pressure of Libby being low. It wasn’t painful because my epidural was still working amazingly, but I still had this awful pinching feeling in the right side of my uterus.
The nurse gave me a quick class on pushing and told me to prepare for pushing to be the hardest part of labor and that it could take hours. We were ready to start practicing pushing. I had Nic holding one of my incredibly numb legs and the nurse holding the other, while I beared down and pushed. The nurse was very pleased with how well I was pushing. You could tell she didn’t think I was going to effectively push at first, but I had surprised her. I just kept concentrating on that awful pinch I felt in my uterus (it must have been Libby I felt) and was visualizing pressing it out of me.
The nurse could tell I was exhausted from not really sleeping all night, so she told us that we could have 30 minutes to rest and gather my strength, then we would start pushing for real.
At about 6:30am the nurse came back in and we started pushing! At around 7:00 am, the nurses were getting ready to switch shifts (awful timing right) and our doctor was called to come deliver our baby girl. The nurses bustled around setting things up while I hung out, pushing when I felt the need to. We were basically ready to go, but the doctor was stuck in traffic (ugh) and was trying to get there as quick as he could. At around 7:45am our doctor walked in and began preparing. He got ready quick which was a relief, and we were ready to start at 8:00am. I gave it everything I had, focusing on the pinching feeling in my uterus and getting our precious girl out into this world. The nurses and Nic were cheering me on and giving me all the encouragement I needed. The nurses told me if I wanted to reach my hand down, I could feel the top of her head. I practically shouted “No thank you!” I was so focused on pushing, I didn’t want to get freaked out. The doctor told me this was it. I pushed with everything I had and out came her head, followed by her shoulders. “KEEP PUSHING!” everyone shouted. I gave one last push and Libby slid out at 8:06 am.
They held her up for me to see and I started crying. I had never seen something so beautiful in my entire life, even though she was covered in blood and guts. The doctor then looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. “The cord broke..” Apparently the cord had been wrapped around her neck and when she pulled her head back it just snapped (this isn’t very common, all the nurses were pretty surprised.) Luckily it broke right where they usually cut it (sorry Nic) so they just clamped it and then took her to the other side of the room to take her vitals.
Everything else is kind of a blur for me after that. I basically had my eyes fixed on the other side of the room on my beautiful baby girl, while the doctor helped me deliver the placenta and stitch me up. I barely even noticed what was happening. The NICU nurses left, giving her an A+ on health and no meconium in her lungs. The nurses finished up their measurements and Nic brought Libby over to me to hold for the first time.
The feeling of having her in my arms finally instead of kicking away in my stomach.. it was indescribable. I looked up at Nic and then back down at this beautiful human that we created and I was overwhelmed with love. The last 23 hours of labor faded away and all that pain and stress and worry was replaced with exuberant happiness.
So there you have it! Libby definitely has a story filled with difficulties. As the nurses said, she was a stubborn little diva from the beginning. But she finally got here, happy and healthy. I just feel lucky and blessed to call her mine.
Photography: Soulfire Studios LLC
Sometimes a trip hits way more obstacles than you had planned for, and just doesn’t turn out how you thought it would. Our Memorial Day camping trip was one of those trips. Nic’s family had planned this big camping trip together up in Northern Utah at Bear Lake, and Nic and I couldn’t have been more excited. We were stoked to go somewhere new and get the chance to take our 4-wheeler out, since we haven’t gotten the chance since we bought it.
Mothers Day. Every year before this one, this holiday has always been the one that made me feel the most empty. My mother passed away when I was nine years old, so really I have spend more of my life without her than I did with her. And honestly, I have gotten used to having that empty spot in my life, because it has been that way for so long. It is usually something I don’t notice because it’s normal for me. But mother’s day was the only day every year that the hole was huge and gaping. It’s hard to hide from the fact that you can’t celebrate mother’s day with your mom when everyone around you is celebrating and cards and gifts are everywhere you look.
thepinders 